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Literature Text
Tis' been the longest so far
Longest point blank since my memories have betrayed me
As this bloody pen and frayed paper could attest
To yet another never ending stroll down amnesia lane
How long has it been?
Since I have seen you wink?
Wink, blissfully, passionately, erratic
And disarrayed as you are
Have I forgotten how each strung sounded?
Or have I not?
Or maybe I have,
… intentionally.
Cloudy is the sky tonight
Directionless as this train of thought
Raging on every second
To fleet towards a point without a definite remark
Barefooted, as I am,
Frigid as a waif lost in the virgin woods
For I have devoured every single remorse
Each time the goddess's lips would blurt out
Euphoric lyric onto your ears,
those ardent lyric that you adored to death
Without the need to conform to my ever present emotions
A prose or two is never material
to you and your goddess at least
For it is I, who wasted such dreamy, dreamy winds
To realize in the end
that I have not learned to forget you at all
As I write of this
I see bright lights of warm yellow and red
I can't even think, honestly, I cannot
As I watch everyone around me breathe to live,
I am left alienated, purposively striding towards
The tower of the east.
A hundred prose will never seem enough,
Nor a thousand prose constructed out of plain resentment
For you have infiltrated me from within
Leaving me weak and powerless down
To the last bone
For years, I have become nothing but food for the worms
As I see you shine in the heavens doing what you do best
I lay enviously in the virgin woods
Wishing that it was I,
Pleading in silence that i would've been
the goddess you have chosen to shine for instead
Countless of times this litany has been said
Echoing and echoing in every dab of the sea waves
I have not learned a bit,
I have not learned a bit
Tis' will not end in a heartbeat to my dismay
Not until a new wind breeze comes to embrace
This wretched soul
Oh how I wait for the day!
Until I can finally say
'It's over! It's over!
The colossal remembrance has been buried in the deepest
Recesses of the virgin woods'
-tinbornalienated
[12/18/10 6:53pm written while I was on the
bus on my way home,
since traffic in SKYWAY was cocky as usual]
FEEDBACK QUESTION:
Did you feel the main character's growth was realistic? What makes you think this?
Did you feel the main character's growth was realistic? What makes you think this?
© 2010 - 2024 tinbornalienated
Comments11
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You have a great poem here, good imagery, flows well, and I felt like I was in the scenes.
But I do have one thing to add before I answer your feedback :3
Tis', it's a very hard word to pull off when the style of the poem is modern. I think the last one works a little better than the first. However, the word puts me in the mood for a angelo-saxon, Shakespearean type mood. It could easily be just me though so don't worry about it much :]
The growth was great, good job on this ;D
But I do have one thing to add before I answer your feedback :3
Tis', it's a very hard word to pull off when the style of the poem is modern. I think the last one works a little better than the first. However, the word puts me in the mood for a angelo-saxon, Shakespearean type mood. It could easily be just me though so don't worry about it much :]
The growth was great, good job on this ;D